


send a sign (that you're mine)

by xlightless



Category: B.A.P
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Mutual Pining, Online Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-03-15
Packaged: 2019-11-04 17:18:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17902277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xlightless/pseuds/xlightless
Summary: Youngjae makes a friend through a multiplayer online battle arena game. Otherwise known as the year that Youngjae falls in love with the meme that is Jung Daehyun.Or a series of long distance!daejae vignettes (in no particular order).





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title borrowed from [Milky Way](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AiqNrzBXcFw) by Ashe.

_February_

“Watch out for that Jhin!” Youngjae exclaims, the clicking of his mouse not ceasing as he attacks the player in front of him. The sounds of swords clashing and magic being cast plays through his headphones.

“Ahhh! Motherfucker! Where’d he come from?!” Junhong’s voice cuts through the noise, and he lets out a string of other curses as his character dies. “This is _bullshit_. I _hate_ this game. I _hate_ our trash team––“

“Buy ‘Black Cleaver’,” Youngjae says, letting his auto-attack take down the minions. “I’ll hold the lane until you get back.”

“I _know_ how to build for Xin Zhao,” Junhong grumbles, and Youngjae hears several aggressive clicks on Junhong’s side of the call. “Alright, I’m on my way.”

“Soraka’s back, and I just got my ult,” Youngjae announces, his clicking increasing. “Hurry up so we can gank her.”

“Got it, got it,” Junhong replies. His character appears at the edge of Youngjae’s screen a few seconds later. “I’m here! Let’s gooooo!”

Youngjae and Junhong attack the one player out in their lane until the character is dead and the banner appears at the top of the screen _(KILLYOOA is on a rampage!)_. They both cheer, Youngjae’s own triumphant scream melding with Junhong’s own. Twenty minutes later, they claim another victory, and Youngjae leans back in his chair as he lets out a sigh of relief. The game takes him from the victory screen to the game stats, and he honors a teammate––Junhong because he was the only other one really doing the work for the win.

“Oh sweet, I just leveled up,” Junhong says. “You up for another game?”

Youngjae looks at the pile of books on the desk beside him and sighs. “Nah, I should get these readings done. I’ll join you in the next one.”

“Okay.”

Youngjae exits the party and he’s about to open his philosophy book when he sees a friend request appear on the side of his screen. He clicks on the tab, eyebrows furrowing at the username. He recognizes it as the person who played the Malphite in their last game. Not many people put on random teams send out friend requests once the game is over, but… Youngjae is feeling particularly friendly this night. So he accepts the friend request.

 **[21:43] damchu69  
**hey :)

Youngjae puts his book aside to type out a response.

 **[21:43] killyooa  
**yo wassup

 **[21:44] damchu69  
**you were really good with that xin zhao earlier

 **[21:45] killyooa  
**haha thnx that was my friend i’ll tell him later

Youngjae doesn’t get a response from this _damchu69_ for a while, so he decides to finally get his homework done. It isn’t until an hour later––when Junhong sends him a message to play another game––that he sees _damchu69_ is still online.

 **[22:41] killyooa  
**hey wanna play a game with me and a friend?

The response is almost immediate.

 **[22:43] damchu69  
**oh yeah sure hold on :)

//

_March_

“Shit! Shit, Daehyun! Don’t tower-dive!” Youngjae exclaims. He hears Daehyun’s scream from the other side of the call as his character falls dead beneath the tower. The red HP bar has about one hit left, and the enemy team is fast approaching Youngjae. He quickly turns around back to his own team tower as he holds back his laughter. “Oh my _god_ , that was the saddest thing I’ve ever seen! You were _so_ close to destroying it!”

“I thought I had it!” Daehyun shouts back. “That Jayce fucked my _ass!”_

Youngjae lands an attack on the Jayce as he waits for Daehyun to respawn. “He really did. Shame I wasn’t the one who did it.”

“Stop harassing me! I’m _vulnerable!”_ Daehyun shouts. He crunches on something––probably the chips he keeps nearby.

“Can you two stop flirting with each other for a hot second?” Junhong says. “I need someone to come help me real quick. I’m about to–– Never mind. I’m already dead.”

Youngjae snickers until the Jayce lands his ultimate attack on Youngjae’s character. He yelps as his screen grays out, signaling his death. “Fucking _excuse_ you!”

Now it’s Daehyun’s turn to laugh. “Serves you right!”

“I am _carrying_ this team, and this is how you treat me?” Youngjae huffs, but he laughs as he watches Daehyun’s character move down their lane again.

“Yeah, whatever, hurry up and respawn so we can kill them,” Daehyun says through a mouthful of food.

Youngjae scoffs. “You talk like I actually have control over respawn times. I know I’m good at this game, but I’m not _that_ good.”

Daehyun hums, moving straight past the Jayce and back to the tower. “We’ve known each other for a month, but I can tell you for sure you’re not all that great.”

Youngjae gives a fake and exasperated gasp. “How dare you? I won’t stand for this toxic behavior in my own team.”

“We’re gonna lose,” Junhong suddenly announces. “They’re coming down mid lane. We’re gonna lose––“

Youngjae and Daehyun shout as the enemy team takes over their base, but their shouts are met with the endgame screen that just announces in bold letters _DEFEAT_. Youngjae leans back in his chair with a groan. This isn’t exactly how he wanted to end his night, but he’s tired.

“Hey, I think I’m done for tonight, guys,” Youngjae says, already exiting out of the party.

“Alright. See you tomorrow, hyung,” Junhong replies. He gasps suddenly. “Did you do CS homework?”

Youngjae rolls his eyes. “Yeah. It’s easy. Do you need to use my Chegg account?”

“Please?” Junhong asks, and Youngjae imagines him with his hands clasped in front of his face like a prayer. “I forgot it was due, I’m so sorry, I’ll buy you lunch, and––“

“Dude, it’s fine. You have the details already,” Youngjae says with a shrug. “Bye.”

Junhong promptly logs off, but Youngjae notices that Daehyun is still connected to the voice chat. He tilts his head. He almost forgot Daehyun was still there. “Hey, Daehyun, are you gonna play another game?”

“Hmm? Oh. Nah. I’m probably gonna watch something until I fall asleep. You know. The usual,” Daehyun replies.

Youngjae hums, leaning back in his seat with a sigh as he stretches his arms above his head. “Nice. What are you thinking of watching?”

“I don’t know. My brother recommended this one anime… Uh. Do you know ‘My Heroic Academy’?” Daehyun says. He yawns. “I think I’m gonna try that.”

Youngjae perks up in his chair, bringing his legs up to sit cross-legged in the cushions, as he grins. “It’s a good show! I agree with your brother.” He pauses as the static in the call takes over for a moment. “I expect a full reaction from you on Discord.”

“That would mean adding you on Discord,” Daehyun says with a light laugh. “Also, it’s late. Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

“Shouldn’t _you?”_ Youngjae shoots back. He scoffs as he opens up the app. “Come on, what’s your username so I can add you.”

“Same as on here. Damchu69,” Daehyun replies. “But I’m only watching one episode.”

Youngjae easily finds Daehyun’s name with a quick search, and he laughs at Daehyun’s profile picture (it’s a picture of a dog caught in the middle of what looks like a sneeze).

“Stop laughing at my baby! He has _feelings!”_ Daehyun exclaims when Youngjae manages to wheeze out an explanation for his cackling.

Three hours later, Youngjae and Daehyun have gone through half of the first season, and Daehyun is wailing about the characters and plot while Youngjae tries to keep his laughter quiet enough to not wake his roommate next door.

//

_April_

“Big Chungus is _online!”_ Daehyun announces with a triumphant laugh.

“You _know_ I hate that meme,” Youngjae says with a scoff. He groans when Daehyun spams their chat with pictures of the meme. “Are you serious–– Stop! I’m gonna leave if you keep this up.”

Daehyun whines, and the sounds of rustling over the microphone tells Youngjae that Daehyun is doing some sort of useless wiggle in his bed. “Youngjae, no, please, the new season. We have to watch it together.”

Youngjae rolls his eyes. There’s something about talking to Daehyun like this––easy and carefree––that makes a comforting warmth bloom in his chest. “Well, if you fuckin’ stopped spamming, I’d consider it. Are you all loaded up?”

“Mhm. On three, we press play, okay?”

Youngjae has his fingers hovering over the spacebar on his laptop, waiting for Daehyun’s cue. “Ready.”

“Three… Two… One.”

The recap begins to play through Youngjae’s headphones, but just beneath that, he hears Daehyun’s quiet and excited “Yesssss.”

Daehyun can’t see him, so he doesn’t have to hide the soft smile that spreads across his features, illuminated by the screen in front of him.

//

_May_

**[23:20] damchu69  
**hey are you busy?

 **[23:21] killyooa  
**nah not really what’s going on

 **[23:21] damchu69  
**i just need someone to talk to right now

 **[23:21] damchu69  
**if that’s ok with u?

 **[23:22] killyooa  
**of course. what’s wrong?

 **[23:23] damchu69  
**i don’t really wanna talk about it right now. how was your day?

Youngjae stares at his screen, blinking. As much as he wants to find out what’s wrong with Daehyun, the urge to help out is stronger. He shoves his books aside and pretends that he isn’t wracked with worry. He begins typing, recounting his day.

 **[22:25] killyooa  
**pretty uneventful tbh. my group isn’t doing shit for our final project. i got the test results back for my cs class and i passed that haha

 **[22:26] damchu69  
**nice i’m glad

Youngjae frowns. How does he even begin to ask Daehyun what’s bothering him if he doesn’t want to talk about it? What is he supposed to do?

 **[22:27] killyooa  
**alright dude spill. what’s going on? i’m worried

Daehyun doesn’t respond for a while, and Youngjae goes back and forth in his mind, trying to figure out if what he said was the right thing. He bites his bottom lip, trying to hold back the bubbling anxiety threatening to burst out of his chest.

 **[22:31] damchu69  
**i told my parents i’m bi and they said something like

 **[22:31] damchu69  
**“as long as you settle with a nice young woman in the future”

 **[22:32] damchu69  
**and i just…. idk how to take that

Youngjae blinks at his screen. He doesn’t know what to say. How to respond. What’s the first thing he’s supposed to say to that? He’s gay himself, but he never thought it was a big deal. He always knew it was a part of him, and he never gave a shit about what other people thought of that. The notification goes off to tell him he has another message from Daehyun.

 **[22:34] damchu69  
**sorry i made it weird didn’t i

 **[22:34] damchu69  
**sorry

Youngjae scrambles to type out a reply. He can’t leave Daehyun hanging like this. Not after he asked for the details. Not with Daehyun feeling like _this_.

 **[22:35] killyooa  
**no wait dude i asked you. it’s just

 **[22:35] killyooa  
**kinda a lot to take in?

 **[22:35] killyooa  
**not that that’s a bad thing. and i’m sorry about your parents. really i am.

 **[22:36] damchu69  
**wait so you’re not weirded out?

Youngjae laughs, and it feels inappropriate as he types out a response.

 **[22:36] killyooa  
**no you're fine don’t worry

 **[22:37] killyooa  
**i’m gay

 **[22:38] damchu69  
**OH

 **[22:38] damchu69  
**YOU ARE???

Youngjae laughs again, pushing his fringe out of his eyes as he runs his hand through his hair. This isn’t the weirdest conversation he’s had with Daehyun, but it’s definitely up there.

 **[22:39] killyooa  
**yeah i thought you knew

 **[22:40] damchu69  
**NO WTF

 **[22:40] damchu69  
**but actually. i’m feeling a little better now. thanks for talking to me

 **[22:38] killyooa  
**no problem. anytime

//

_June_

“Hey, guess what day it is.”

Youngjae rolls his eyes. He and Daehyun have made it a habit to keep their voice chats on whenever they’re at their homes. It helps that both of them are on vacation right now and have nothing better to do. “What?”

“No, you have to _guess_ ,” Daehyun replies in a sing-song voice.

Youngjae sighs. “Did you finally lose your gay virginity? Someone penetrated your asshole late last night?”

“Wha–– No! Man, I _wish_ that happened, but no. Try again,” Daehyun says.

Youngjae rolls his eyes. “I don’t _know_ , man. Just tell me. I’m not good at shit like this.”

Daehyun laughs, and the next words out of his mouth make Youngjae splutter. “It’s my birthday today.”

“What?!” Youngjae exclaims over Daehyun’s laughter, torn between the surprise and irritation because Daehyun couldn’t have told him _earlier_. “It’s your _birthday?!_ Why didn’t you tell me anything before? I didn’t get you anything! I didn’t even greet you! Happy birthday!”

Daehyun is still laughing, half-wheezing as Youngjae tries to compose himself. “I thought it’d be funny.”

“You thought it’d be–– What the _fuck?!_ Who does that?!” Youngjae exclaims. He’s already opening up online stores to buy something for Daehyun. “I’m getting you something. What’s your address?”

Daehyun’s laugh stops abruptly. “Wait. No. You don’t have to get me anything. Please. Youngjae. No.”

“I might just send you a glitter bomb for telling me this late,” Youngjae says. It’s a legitimate option in his mind at this point. It’ll be so funny.

“Don’t. I don’t want anything from you. Really. It’s okay,” Daehyun whines. He gasps and snaps his fingers. “Well, maybe one thing.”

Youngjae pauses from scrolling down his sites. “What?”

“We reveal our faces to each other.” There’s a moment of awkward silence that follows before Daehyun groans. “Actually, no, that was dumb. I’m sorry. You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.”

Youngjae blinks, then looks down at himself. He’s in his pajamas and his hair is a mess, but it shouldn’t matter _that_ much. Besides, it’s for Daehyun’s birthday. He takes a deep breath. “That’s fine. I’m still getting you something, though, so send me your address.”

“Fine, whatever, you’re lucky I like you so much,” Daehyun says.

And Youngjae doesn’t let that thought linger too long in his memory because he knows he falls too easily in love with the idea of loving someone. He can’t let Daehyun be one of them. Not at the simplest _You’re lucky I like you so much_. That’s not fair to Daehyun or himself.

“Okay, we’ll turn on our video chat on the count of three,” Daehyun says, and Youngjae has to swallow the nervous lump forming in his throat. “Three, two, one, go.”

Youngjae clicks on the button allowing video chat, and he has to hold back the gasp that almost escapes him. He’s never seen anyone quite like Daehyun before. Wide, sparkling obsidian eyes. Thick lips, if a little chapped. Honey brown hair that falls in waves in front of his forehead. A mole right beneath his left eye.

“Oh my god?!” Daehyun shouts as he nearly presses his face up against his screen. Youngjae finds himself leaning back in surprise on instinct. “You didn’t say you were _hot!”_

Youngjae blinks. He feels a warmth creep up his neck, across his cheeks, and all the way up to the tips of his ears. He didn’t even bother to fix his hair and he’s wearing an old Pororo t-shirt from middle school. And Daehyun just called him _hot?_

“Are you fucking with me right now?” Youngjae asks, and he hates that Daehyun can see him blushing this hard. “Because if you _are_ , I swear to fucking Chri––“

“I’d let you into my ass,” Daehyun says, smug as he sits back down in his chair.

Youngjae struggles to compose himself, trying to will the redness and heat away from his face. He frowns, trying his best to look unimpressed. “Thanks. I think.”

“Oh, that’s the highest honor I could give you,” Daehyun says with a grin. It widens a moment later. “I like the Pororo shirt, by the way.”

Youngjae scowls, unable to fight off the blush any longer. His face feels like he just took a shot of strong whiskey. This is horrible. He really should’ve changed out of the shirt.

//

_July_

“I can’t believe you actually sent me a glitter bomb,” Daehyun whines as soon as their call connects. “You know I trusted you.”

“Your actual gift is on its way,” Youngjae says with a laugh.

“It’s all over my keyboard! How am I supposed to play now?”

Youngjae actually laughs at that, one that takes over his entire body as he leans back in his chair. “You opened it over your keyboard? Fuck, Daehyun, that’s the _dumbest_ thing you’ve probably ever done.”

“You’re a _menace_. Is this why you won’t tell me your birthday? Are you afraid that I might do the same to you?” Daehyun asks.

Youngjae knows Daehyun is trying to be intimidating, but he just doesn’t have the bite to sound very threatening. “You wouldn’t.”

“Yeah, well, I thought you wouldn’t send me a glitter bomb, but apparently I thought _wrong!”_ Daehyun exclaims. “Why won’t you tell me your birthday?”

“It’s in the first half of the year, I’ll give you that,” Youngjae replies. He likes teasing Daehyun, but the warm tendrils taking hold in his heart are unfamiliar and he doesn’t like how all-encompassing they’re beginning to feel. He isn’t sure if he likes the tightness pressing against his chest.

“Whatever, I’ll just have to send you a glitter bomb at the beginning of every month from January until June,” Daehyun says, and Youngjae tries not to imagine the pout on Daehyun’s thick lips.

“Don’t. That’s too much glitter.”

“Tell me your birthday, and I won’t have to.”

“Nah, I think I’m good.”

 **[13:34] damchu69  
** _sent an attachment img_823.jpg_

“Chungus is _dead!_ Stop sending me this meme!” Youngjae exclaims as the photo loads up on his screen, taking up half of the chat space.

Daehyun sends the photo at least six more times until Youngjae lets out a groan. “Fine! January! My birthday is in January! Just _stop!”_

Daehyun lets out a victorious cheer, and the images stop coming. “Finally! I’ll get you something real good.”

“Better not be a glitter bomb,” Youngjae grits out.

“Of _course_ not, darling! I would _never_ stoop to such a low level,” Daehyun exclaims. “How could you assume such a bold––“

Youngjae scowls. “Shut the fuck up before I send you another glitter bomb.”

“Oooh, you know I like it when you take command, baby.”

Youngjae fights the way his heart flutters at the name. He shoves the feeling to the side, trying to compose himself as he says, “So, are we playing this game or what?”

Youngjae hears the sound of rustling on Daehyun’s side. “Yeah. yeah, hold on. Let me find my mouse.”

//

_August_

**[00:43] damchu69  
**hey hey hey are u still awake

Youngjae looks up from his reading––what sane professor gives their class readings during the _first_ week?––to see his Discord window blinking with an alert. He tilts his head, reading the message, and types out a quick response.

 **[00:44] killyooa  
**yeah

 **[00:45] damchu69  
**i got a secret to tell you

 **[00:45] damchu69  
**super secret

 **[00:45] damchu69  
**don’t tell anyone

Youngjae frowns. What the hell does Daehyun need to tell him? If he has to help Daehyun hide a body, he can only do so much, given the distance between them.

 **[00:46] killyooa  
**what is it?

 **[00:47] damchu69  
**i’m a lil drunk rn just a litlte

Youngjae blinks. Is that the _super secret_ Daehyun had to tell him? He could gather that much from the messages.

 **[00:48] damchu69  
**and

 **[00:48] damchu69  
**i made out with someone

Youngjae feels jealousy flare in his gut. Fiery hot and licking its way up his esophagus. He swallows the lump forming in his throat, hard and constricting. He shoves the feelings down, deep where he can’t feel it as intensely.

 **[00:49] killyooa  
**nice

 **[00:50] damchu69  
**touch starvation is a real thign u know

 **[00:50] damchu69  
**it was so nice

 **[00:50] damchu69  
**tbh wow

Youngjae knows he has no right to feel this way. Daehyun doesn’t belong to him. He’s an autonomous human being––a grown ass _adult_ ––who can make his own decisions. Youngjae has absolutely no say in what he thinks Daehyun should or shouldn’t do.

Except…

Youngjae wonders what it would feel like to kiss Daehyun, what Daehyun tastes like, what Daehyun sounds like beneath him. He wants to be the one to do those things with Daehyun.

Is that so wrong?

 **[00:53] killyooa  
**sure sounds like you had fun

 **[00:54] damchu69  
**it was

 **[00:54] damchu69  
**i did

But… What if Youngjae isn’t in love with Daehyun, and he’s in love with the _idea_ of him?

//

_September_

**[23:10] damchu69  
**can i confess something to you?

 **[23:12] killyooa  
**yes what is it?

 **[23:13] damchu69  
**you know that one time when i

 **[23:13] damchu69  
**you know

Youngjae rolls his eyes. Daehyun isn’t usually one to avoid the subject like this. Whatever is on his mind is troubling him pretty badly.

 **[23:14] killyooa  
**can you be maybe a little more specific?

 **[23:15] damchu69  
**when i made out with someone and then i drunk texted you

Youngjae’s heart pounds in his chest. Why is Daehyun bringing this up now? What is he getting at? He doesn’t want to have this conversation all of a sudden, but he knows Daehyun won’t stop bothering him about it.

 **[23:15] killyooa  
**yeah and?

 **[23:19] damchu69  
**i like you a lot. you’re so good and understanding and i like talking to you so much and i think you’re amazing. and i’m just. not. so i thought there’s no way i’d be able to do anything with you bc there’s no way i’m good enough for you. so i got drunk and made out with someone

 **[23:20] damchu69  
**but i couldn’t stop thinking about you

 **[23:20] damchu69  
**this is probably weird. i’m sorry

Youngjae stares at the messages, then his empty text box and the blinking cursor. What does he say to this? He can hear his heart rushing in his ears, constricting in his chest, swelling until he’s certain it’s pressing against his lungs. His hands are shaking. What does this mean for them?

 **[23:24] killyooa  
**oh

 **[23:24] killyooa  
**i think i need time to think about this

 **[23:25] damchu69  
**it’s ok

 **[23:25] damchu69  
**you don’t have to give me an answer immediately

//

_October_

Youngjae gulps. Daehyun has been patient with him, but he can tell that there’s a tense undercurrent running beneath their facade. He knows it’s his move now, but he doesn’t know where to start. He stares at the blinking cursor in the empty text box. He’s given this a lot of thought, and he’s come to a conclusion.

There’s no way to know if he’s really in love with Daehyun, not unless he really tries to commit and put himself out there.

 **[20:29] killyooa  
**hey

 **[20:31] damchu69  
**hey :)

 **[20:32] killyooa  
**i think i’m ready to give you my answer now

 **[20:33] damchu69  
**i’m listening

//

_November_

**[01:57] damchu69  
**i love you

 **[01:58] killyooa  
**i love you too

//

_December_

“What do you want for Christmas?” Youngjae asks, half of his attention on Daehyun and half of it on the study guide he’s annotating.

“You.”

Youngjae glances up his laptop screen with a frown, but Daehyun is just grinning at him like he made the wittiest comeback of the century. “Really? I’m serious.”

Daehyun sits up straighter in his chair. “Me too. Don’t you think we should meet in real life? We’ve known each other for almost a year now. That’s kind of a long time to know each other without meeting, isn’t it?”

Youngjae hums, placing his chin in his palm as he focuses his whole attention on Daehyun. “You have a point.”

Daehyun perks up suddenly, his eyes going bright and wide. He has an idea, and Youngjae isn’t sure if he’s gonna like where this is going. “What if we split a train ticket for you to come here? To Busan?”

So Youngjae _might_ like where this is going. “Go on…”

“Neither of us have Friday classes next semester, so if you come in on a Friday, we’ll have a whole weekend together, and you can leave on a Sunday,” Daehyun says. “Perfect, right? It’ll be like our Christmas gifts to each other.”

“Well, consider me convinced,” Youngjae says, half a smile already forming on his face.

“Yessss. Let me look at prices for the train,” Daehyun says, typing at his keyboard. He clicks a couple times before gasping. “Oooh, there’s this really cheap one in the beginning of February.”

Youngjae hums. He taps his fingers on his cheek in thought. “Yeah. Yeah. That sounds good. We can do that. Here’s to hoping I don’t have any tests that week.”

Daehyun scoffs. “Come on. It’ll be the beginning of the semester. It won’t be that busy yet.” He pauses, and Youngjae looks at Daehyun’s face screwed in concentration. “Well, I’m gonna buy it now.”

“Okay.”

Except Youngjae doesn’t know why he’s feeling so unsure all of a sudden. There’s a sort of finality to it that makes his chest constrict and stomach twist in knots. Why is he so nervous? He should be happy, right? He should be excited to meet Daehyun. So…why does he feel the ice-cold grip of uncertainty clutch at his lungs?

“Are you okay?”

Youngjae blinks and stares at the worry in Daehyun’s face. He smiles. “Yeah. How much is the ticket? I gotta know how much to pay you back.”

Daehyun tilts his head, but he doesn’t press the matter any further.

//

_January_

**[00:00] damchu69  
**happy new year!

 **[00:01] killyooa  
**happy new year time to get shitfaced amirite

 **[00:01] killyooa  
** _sent an attachment img_472.jpg_

 **[00:02] damchu69  
**lmao that’s not even the good soju

 **[00:03] damchu69  
**can i be honest really quick? just a quick candid moment?

 **[00:03] killyooa  
**duh

 **[00:05] damchu69  
**i’m kinda nervous to meet you

 **[00:06] killyooa  
**can i be honest too?

 **[00:06] damchu69  
**yeah

 **[00:07] killyooa  
**i’m pretty nervous too

 **[00:08] damchu69  
**well now that’s just fucked up

//

_February_

So Youngjae has done plenty of impulsive things in his young adult life. Though, this––buying a train ticket to Busan and traveling halfway across the country to meet the _boyfriend_ he’s only talked to online––is by far the most impulsive thing he’s ever done. He doesn’t think he’s ever been this nervous in his life. He’s never been to Busan before, and he doesn’t know the first thing about meeting people he met online. Is it okay to hug Daehyun? Is that allowed? His phone vibrates in his pocket, and he nearly jumps out of his skin. He pulls it out to see a message from Daehyun on Discord.

 **[8:21] damchu69  
**Hey, we just got to the station. My friend’s got the car and I’m coming inside. Where are you?

Youngjae looks up from his phone. There’s too many people to really pick Daehyun out in the crowd, but he isn’t sure if it’s because he’s only seen pictures of Daehyun online. His hands are shaking. He can hear his heartbeat rushing in his ears, pounding in his chest. He swallows the nervous lump that’s forming in his throat. He sweeps his gaze once more over the crowd for Daehyun before looking back down at his phone.

 **[8:22] killyooa  
**Uhhhhh out in the arrival hall? There are benches

As soon as Youngjae sends the text, his phone rings, Daehyun’s name popping up on the screen, and he answers it. Daehyun is laughing.

“What are you laughing at?” Youngjae asks, not even bothering with a greeting.

“‘There are benches’. _So_ specific,” Daehyun cackles. Youngjae is about to shoot back with something scathing, but Daehyun continues, “Can you make your way to the main entrance? You’ll probably see me.”

Youngjae scoffs. “Well, I got a green jacket and gray backpack, if that helps you find me.”

“Noted,” Daehyun says.

Youngjae follows the signs to the main entrance, trying to focus and calm his nerves enough to find Daehyun. He sees the main entrance before he sees Daehyun, though. He blames it on the sheer amount of people. Why are there so many people here anyway? It’s barely 8:30 in the morning.

“I don’t see you,” Youngjae says, and he feels something like panic begin to rise in his chest and threaten to constrict him. “Where are you?”

“Wait, I see you.”

Youngjae stops, frowning and trying to find Daehyun. “Where?”

The crowd seems to part like a biblical ocean as Daehyun steps out from behind a pillar and waves at Youngjae. “Over here!”

Youngjae doesn’t even bother to end the call. He just drops his phone in his jacket pocket and runs to Daehyun. This is it. His hands are shaking. The corners of his mouth pull up into a smile. With each step closer, he can see Daehyun smiling too. He holds his arms open, and suddenly, Youngjae has his arms wrapped around Daehyun’s slender waist, Daehyun’s own arms encircling Youngjae’s shoulders.

“Hey,” Youngjae says, his voice muffled into Daehyun’s shoulder.

“Oh my god, you’re _real_ ,” Daehyun breathes close to Youngjae’s ear, and his voice is so familiar, yet so different without the filter of a video chat separating them.

Youngjae leans back to laugh, and when he focuses on Daehyun, his breath hitches at the way Daehyun stares at him. Full of awe, maybe even a little disbelief. He tilts his head, the smile still on his face. “What? Of course I’m real.”

“Can I kiss you?” Daehyun whispers, his thumbs rubbing circles along the curve of Youngjae’s shoulders.

Youngjae nods, unable to find his voice. He leans forward, his eyes slipping closed as he catches Daehyun’s lips in his. He tastes like mint and waxy chapstick, lips as soft as velvet against Youngjae’s. He gets lost in the feeling, letting the world pass by them, getting lost in the warmth emanating from Daehyun. _Real_ warmth this time, not just the mechanical heat from his laptop. Daehyun is the first to pull back, and Youngjae opens his eyes with a smile.

“It’s about time we had a real kiss,” Youngjae says.

Daehyun laughs, pulling away, but lacing his fingers with Youngjae’s as they walk out of the station.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha idk where this came from
> 
> another note: yes youngjae’s username is a really bad pun on his and killua’s name. you know. from hunterxhunter. 
> 
> additional note: if you know what game i'm referencing i'm sorry. for both me and you.


	2. how do i tell a boy i want to kiss him?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first time they say "I love you" over the phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't @ me but i love projecting my life story into fic oops
> 
> chapter title borrowed from that one modern baseball song how do i tell a girl i want to kiss her

Youngjae rests his phone on his ear as he lies on his side. Daehyun is talking about something, but he closes his eyes and just listens to the sound of Daehyun’s voice. It’s late and he’s tired, but it’s the weekend, and the timbre of Daehyun’s voice is soothing, vibrating through his thoughts.

“Since the season is ending soon, I was thinking maybe we put in one last effort to reach platinum this weekend. What do you think?” Daehyun asks. “We’re _so_ close, Jae.”

Youngjae hums. He just has a couple of readings––that he can put off until the day they’re due. He can squeeze a couple more games if Daehyun wants to push his ranking to platinum. “Sure. Yeah. Sounds good.”

Daehyun suddenly yawns, long and exhausted, and Youngjae lifts his phone to look at the time. He squints into the bright screen, barely reading 2:49 AM.

“Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” Youngjae asks, placing his phone back over his ear.

“Noooo,” Daehyun whines, and there’s the sound of rustling sheets on his end, like he’s shifting around in his bed. “I don’t ever wanna say good night to you.”

Youngjae furrows his brow. He’s never heard anyone say something like that before, let alone to him. “And why not?”

“It’s peak romance to fall asleep talking to someone, don’t you agree?” Daehyun asks, and Youngjae hates how he can _hear_ Daehyun’s sleepy smug grin through the call. “I never wanna hang up.”

“That’s disgusting. Disgusting and cheesy,” Youngjae replies, but he doesn’t know what else to say. He can feel his own yawn coming on. “I think sleep deprivation makes you disgusting and cheesy.”

Daehyun scoffs. “Yeah? And what about it? I haven’t heard you complain about it yet.”

“I’m complaining about it right now,” Youngjae counters. He yawns. He wants to succumb to the endless void of blissful unconscious, but as much as he hates to admit it, he likes talking to Daehyun a little more.

Maybe Daehyun really was onto something when he said he doesn’t want to hang up just yet.

“Hey. Youngjae?” Daehyun says, his voice a little hushed, like he’s about to share a secret only he and Youngjae can know.

“Hmm?” Youngjae hums to let Daehyun know he’s still awake and listening. “What is it?”

“I love you.”

Youngjae’s eyes fly wide open and his breath hitches. He’s never heard Daehyun’s voice go so soft before. He stares into the inky silhouettes in his room, trying to calm his suddenly racing heart. In that instant, he imagines himself lying next to Daehyun, engulfed in a comforting silence. He imagines wrapping his arms around Daehyun’s middle, limbs entangled within each other beneath cotton sheets. He imagines breathing him in, burying his nose in the crook of Daehyun’s shoulder. He imagines Daehyun pressing his lips to his ear, whispering a secret to him like they’re the only two people in the world.

_“I love you.”_

And he tries to find the proper words to reply, to convey everything he’s just seen, everything he’s feeling in this exact moment, but he can’t. His words get caught in his throat, and Daehyun’s own hang heavy in the air. The silence grows stiff and oppressive, and Youngjae knows he can’t just leave Daehyun like this.

So, in a voice barely above a whisper, he says, “I love you, too.”

“Nice.”

Youngjae hears the smile in Daehyun’s voice, and he feels a weight lift off his chest as he smiles as well.

**Author's Note:**

> come yell at me on my [tumblr](http://www.guernica-flow.tumblr.com/) lmao


End file.
